A Most Glorious Day

As the great Thanos once said, “I am inevitable”. He also said, “Ayeeeee Tony!!! Maroneeee it’s been too long! How’s ya motha??”

Much like Thanos, I am inevitable and very curious about ya motha’s overall well-being. Unlike Thanos though, the hue of my plums is more of a rich blue than a true purple these days, but after a long weekend of non-stop College Football, that is likely to change.

Twelve, 12 is a great number. If I recall correctly, there was once a man who loved the number 12 SO much, he capped his friend group at that very number. That very man was unselfish, a giver, if you will. Just ask the masses who celebrated his miracle of turning water into alcohol on a game day, so everyone could join in the celebration as the Bethlehem Bobcats defeated the Pontius Pilates in an overtime thriller. Similarly, we (the CFB collective) now have that same opportunity this post-season, as the 12 team playoff will officially take over. I’m excited to see a disgruntled Texas team destroy Boise State in the first round, and for Oregon and Ohio State to fight for the rights to the big O. For now, that belongs to Jeffrey Toobin.

As the great Alan D. Wolfelt, (Ph.D.) once said, “You must go backward before you can go forward”. So, before we dive headfirst into the glorious weekend slate, let’s go over some housekeeping items from Week 0.

• #10 Florida State 21 Georgia Tech 24
  • Man, what a game. In the first game of the 2025 College Football season, we saw 60 minutes of DJ Oogiebadoogie attempting the forward pass. The 23 year old (former 5 star) looked like a 18 year old 2 star, who was scared to throw the ball downfield. If you ask any Clemson fan, they’ll tell you this is not new, but 1 year in the PAC-12 made him into a shiny toy that the Lane Kiffin wannabe down in Tallahassee just couldn’t ignore. Despite having multiple Day 1 and 2 draft picks on the O & D line, Florida St. was BULLIED at the line of scrimmage all game. Second year GT head coach Brent Key had his big boys motivated, as they controlled the trenches on both sides. Georgia Tech controlled the clock and leaned on their run game, as Jr. RB Jamal Haynes (75 yards) and Jr. QB Haynes King (55 yards) lead the charge. A rainy second half in ole Dublin, Ireland made for a slippery sloppy steak, I mean game. Anyway, last second heroics from Georgia Tech’s kicker, Silas, (from the Da Vinci Code) gave the Jackets their 5th consecutive win against ranked ACC opponents, and a 1-0 start to the 2025 season.
    • Rushing – GT: 190 FSU: 98
    • Passing – GT: 146 FSU: 193

Noon Kick-

• #1 Georgia v. #14 Clemson (UGA -13.5 T: 48.5)
  • Oooooooo weeeeeeee! After watching their former QB, DJ Oogiebadoogie, lose in frustrating fashion last weekend, the Clemson fans are thanking their Lord and Savior, Dabo Swinney, that he refuses to use the Transfer Portal. While Cade Klubnik might be an improvement from DJ, he has his work cut out for him facing this UGA defense. Led by junior’s Malaki Starks and Mykel Williams, the Dawgs return 8 of 11 starters on the defensive side and look to exceed the high pre-season standards put upon them. On the offensive side, they return 8 starters, led by Senior QB Carson Beck and transfer RB Trevor Etienne (UF).
  • The key for the Tigers in this game is to run the ball, and lean on veteran Phil Mafah. You know, that guy that’s built like a brick shithouse. If Clemson can run the ball, it’ll take some pressure off of Klubnik and allow him some room to stretch the field, getting the ball to his two highly rated Freshman WR’s TJ Moore and Bryant Wesco. If they can do that and hold their own in the trenches, we will have ourselves a ball game.
  • I’m picking the Dawgs to win and to cover. I think that offense is too explosive and the defense is too experienced. Klubnik will need to have a flawless game in order to lift the Tigers to victory, and his record & stats away from home do not favor such a prediction. Dawgs roll.

• #8 Penn State @ West Virginia (PSU -7.5 T: 51.5)
  • This is the year. This is it. With the expanded playoff and a schedule featuring only 3 preseason top 25 teams, will the Titty Lions finally see the post-season?
    • No, no they will not. Well in actuality, the odds are high (higher than they should be) that a 10-2 Penn St. sneaks into the new 12 team playoff. Led by Drew Allar, former Ohio HS Player of the Year, the Nittany Lions have a lot of returning talent (23 with starting experience) this year. New OC Andy Kotelnicki looks to start strong as he implements a new offense, the “Run and Gun” as he’s calling it. I’ve never heard of such a thing, but to me that sounds like a school shooters pre-game strategy.
  • On the other side of the ball, West Virginia. Boooooo they’re boring booooo. Shutup, they’re frisky.
    • Sophomore QB Garrett Greene returns as the second year starter, coming off a season where he was tied for the FBS lead in QB rushing TDs with 13. The kid has wheels! The key here for the Mountaineers is two-fold.
      • A. Don’t let Drew Allar throw for 350 yards and 4 TDs again
      • B. Use that home field advantage and pack those stands to the brim, all the way up to the 10,000 capacity!
  • I think Penn St. takes care of business, but if I was a betting man, I like WVU to keep it close and cover.

Other Notable Games: UConn @ Maryland, VT @ Vanderbilt

3:30 Kick –

• #19 Miami @ Florida (Miami -2.5 T: 54.5)
  • The Battle of the Sunshine State
  • This should be a good one, likely sloppy, but fun. This is a huge game for UF HC Billy Napier, as his seat is hotter than Megan Fox in that one scene from the first Transformers movie. You know, when Sam’s car (Bumble Bee) ‘breaks down’ and Mikaela (actually how it’s spelt, ew I know) gets out and says, “Oh yeah well my dad steals cars all the time and he indoctrinated me into his life of crime so lemme take a look under the hood”. Then she’s bending over showin off that bod and Sam’s leering at her like your grandpa at Hooters all creepily. Member that? Yea, I member.
  • Anyway, Florida must win this game. They currently have the hardest schedule in all of College Football (not counting Colorado) and need to get the ball rolling against this beatable Miami team. Beatable? Yeah, I think so. I know they welcomed in 15 transfers, most notably QB transfer Cam Ward from Wazzou, and had a great recruiting class, but there are still holes in this team, specifically defensively. The secondary raises a concern and I don’t think they match up well against Florida’s perimeter speed. A name to watch for the Gators is wideout Eugene Wilson III, the speedster from Tampa.
  • I like the Gators to defend the Swamp and rule the Sunshine state for a short time, enjoying this win before they have the gauntlet from hell later in the season.

Sunday 9/1/24 @ 7:30PM EST

• #13 LSU @ #23 USC (LSU -4.5 T: 64.5)
  • Crickey, anotha good one, and on the Lords day nonetheless mate!
  • The Tigas travel west, to face Big Ten opponent Southern California and Lincoln Logs Riley. This here should be a shootout, as USC is led by newly named starter Miller Moss, who was just named a finalist for coolest QB name in CFB. Lucky for Mr. Moss, as his head coach seems to be a QB whisperer, producing 3 heisman winners in the last 6 years. He looks to start strong against a fast physical defense that will be his first big test.
  • Opposite Miller Moss, is LSU QB Garrett Nussmeier. What you need to know: big arm, gun-slinger, sneaky quick (yes, he’s white), nepo baby (dad played in the NFL) and most notably the 2024 ReliaQuest Bowl MVP. He’s unproven but talented and his maturity and poise early on in this game will be indicative of the outcome.
  • I’ve got the Tigas leaving the west coast with a dub.

Monday 9/2/24 @ 7:30PM EST

• Boston College @ Florida State (FSU -16.5 T: 49.5)
  • FSU is in timeout so I will refrain from making any statement.
  • Notable BC Alumni:
    • Luke Keuchly, Matt Ryan, Doug Floutie, Leonard Nimoy

This is merely a taste of what is to come. Future editions will contain more sections and sport variety, as well as commentary on the buzz of the world outside of the sports landscape. I appreciate all of you for reading, and if you wish to have this automatically sent to your inbox every Tuesday and Friday mornings, SMASH that subscribe button down below!! (No seriously though it would automate the whole thing and it’s just so much easier for everyone)

Love you guys,

TWD