Guys (and gals, sup ladies?), we have officially entered the best time of year, Toyotathon. The yearly sales event held by Toyota offers special deals on new and popular Toyota vehicles, as offers include cash rebates, low APR financing, flexible lease terms, bonus cash and exclusive discounts. I cannot stress enough the importance of you doing your part in taking advantage of this fantastic deal, helping Toyota dealerships across this beautiful country clear out their lots for new product in 2025. As a proud owner of 13 Toyota vehicles and $393,541 worth of credit card debt, believe me when I say it’s such a great deal you have to ACT NOW, while you can. You know what successful hedge fund manager and renowned investor Michael Burry says, “the best appreciating asset of all time is Toyota – buy as MANY Toyotas as you possible can”. Thanks, Michael for your genius insight. Whether you’re participating in this fantastic deal or not, at least take part in the celebration! If you’re confused, check out the best ways to celebrate Toyotathon here.
Now, for football.
NFL Quickie: Man, the Bears ALMOST did it. By ‘it’ I mean get the monkey off their back and finally beat the Packers. Caleb Williams and that defense did their best to keep this game tight, but ultimately we all knew they’d find a way to blow it, and that came in the form of a game winning FG attempt being blocked, as the Bears fall 20-19, and extend the losing streak to 11 in a row vs. Green Bay. We travel next to Detroit, where a group of hungry Lions fed on Mac & Cheese Jones and his jaded Jaguars. In a 52-6 annihilation, Jared Goff and company looked like world beaters. Damn near every Lion scored a TD, as Goff threw for 400 & 4 scores, Gibbs and Monty shared 3 TDs , the Sun God Amon-Ra added 2 of his own, and Jameson “Fast as fuck boy” Williams added a 64 yarder and celebrated beautifully (see below). For the first time in franchise history, the Detroit Lions are your current Super Bowl Favorites. Moving south a bit, we check in with the Tennessee Titans and mayo king Will Levis. William may not have outperformed Vikings QB Sam Darnold on Sunday, but he did put together a kinda okay game (17/31-295-1TD-1INT). Samuel got back on track Sunday, with a QBR of 107 (I think that’s good?), tossing for 2 scores and adding another on the ground, after nearly turning back into a pumpkin last weekend. Vikings move to 8-2 with the 23-13 win in Nashvegas. Continuing our trek south, we land in Miami next, where Tua and all 3 of his remaining braincells were firing on all cylinders. 70% completion with 290 yards & 3 TDs for Mr. Tagovailoa, as the Dolphins beat up on the Raiders 34-19. Las Vegas sucks but Brock Bowers is awesome (13 receptions 126 yards & 1 TD). Heading up the east coast, we go to the land of iron and Steel(ers) as Pittsburgh played host to division foe Baltimore. LaMVP Jackson & King Henry were bottled up and bothered all day by that suffocating defense, as the Ravens fell 18-16 to the Steelers. Shoutout Justin Tucker for forgetting how to kick and costing the Ravens this game (1/3 with 2 misses inside 48 yards). Staying on the east coast, we head to Foxboro where we were blessed with a Matthew Stafford masterclass. The 36 year old gunslinger put on a show, tossing for 295 yards & 4 scores. The exciting whites (Cooper Kupp & Puka Nakua) combined for 13 catches, 230 yards and 3 TDs. Drake Maye played well but a late interception sealed the Rams 28-22 win. Down the street in New Jersey, Anthony Richardson proved the haters wrong, as he is SO back. AR-15 had the best performance of his career (20/30-271 yards-3 TDs), with two of those tuds coming on the ground, and one capping a 75 yard drive to go up 1 with less than a minute left. Aaron Rodgers played okay but his deep ball connection is still lacking, as he was check-down magoo all day, and the Jets offense suffered. Colts win 28-27 and send the Jets to 3-8. Traveling back to New York, where the best game of the day took place. The Buffalo Bills finally beat Mahomes, something nobody in the NFL has done in 15 consecutive games, behind the heroics of Josh Allen (260 yards passing, 55 yards rushing & 2 TDs). The bigger story was the Bills defense, which managed to force 2 Pat Mahomes INTs which ended up being the difference down the stretch. Buffalo moves to 8-2 with the 30-21 win. The last few games all kinda stunk, so lets just rip the band aid off – Jameis throws for 400 yards 3 TDs but Tayson Hill puts up a crazy stat line on his way to 3 TDs and a Saints 35-14 win. Bo Nix has officially made me a #Boliever, as he puts up some crazy numbers (300 yards 4 TDs) in his 38-6 rout of the Falcons. Seahawks win a very weird stinky game against the 49ers 20-17 as Geno Smith scrambles for the game winner with 15 seconds left. Joe Burrow throws for 360 & 3 TDs but has a bunch of Helen Kellers on defense, Bengals fall to the now 7-3 Chargers 34-27.
Georgia blacks out; wakes up back in the CFP conversation
UGA 31
TENN 17
Carson Beck, since you clearly read the Deuce, I just wanted to say thanks. I chose the Dawgs to win and cover here for a few different reasons, but none of them were because I was anticipating a Beck legacy game. The not-so-young man seems to have finally made peace with his responsibility as the Gordon to this teams Thomas the Tank Engine, as he must bear the weight of carrying them. Whether it was my defamation or another’s, he heard the critics and responded in a big way, finishing with 380 total yards, 3 scores, & most importantly NO TURNOVERS. Props to Carson, he looked poised and comfortable in the pocket, and when he wasn’t feeling so, he took off and scrambled to get positive yards. For the 1st time all season, the Dawgs did not rotate any players on the OL, as the starting 5 played every snap, and did so incredibly well. Facing a top 10, borderline top 5 unit, they held them sackless all game, and only allowed 2 TFL’s – a pretty dramatic change in just one week.
Time to say something nice about Tennessee – Dylan Sampson is really good. As predicted, he was still able to eclipse 100 yards (101 lol) and was pretty much the only bright spot for the Vols offense. His running gave the Vols an early lead and removed pressure from Nico, giving him a chance to make easy throws in short yard situations. A halftime score of 17-17 had this one looking like an instant classic, until all of a sudden it wasn’t. That Tennessee run game dissipated and Nico Iamafaidtothrowitdownfield was forced to move it through the air. While he didn’t turn the ball over, he wasn’t particularly great, as the UGA pass rush was on his ass like white on rice for the entire 2nd half. Finishing with 5 sacks & 6 tackles for loss, they shut the Vols out for the last 30 minutes of play, giving the offense ample opportunity to run away with the game. Looking ahead, I’d say UGA is right back in CFP talks, and Tennessee is praying for chaos at the top in these last 2 weeks of the regular season.
Kansas knocks on the Mormons front door, kindly hands them their 1st loss of the year
KU 17
BYU 13
I’m glad I didn’t make the same mistake two weeks in a row – picking against Kansas after hyping them up. Two weeks ago I stupidly chose to back Iowa State as they hosted this Kansas team, right after giving plenty of reasons as to why the Jays were underrated and undervalued in that matchup. Well, unlike Deshaun Watson, I learn from my mistakes and trusted the Jayhawks to get the job done in Provo this weekend. Now, it wasn’t easy by any means, but all that matters is that once the clock hits zero, you have more points than the other team. This game was tighter than something that is really tight, as BYU narrowly lead 13-10 heading into the 4th quarter. A costly muffed punt gave Kansas the ball at the Cougar 3 yard line, and one play later Devin Neal punched it in for his second rushing TD of the game. That score gave Kansas a 17-13 lead, and BYU struggled the remainder of the 4th quarter to put together a drive, until their last one. A final ‘gotta have it’ drive by the Cougars went 71 yards and brought them all the way to the 15 yard line. Unfortunately though, the late game heroics flamed out with a 4th and 11 check down that never had a chance.
Keys: Kansas took care of the ball and capitalized on BYU’s inability to do so. The defense stood tall when they needed to, specifically during the Cougars final drive, as they stuffed them on 3 straight drives and forced a turnover on downs to seal the game with 40 seconds left. For the Cougars, they were turnover happy. Coughing up the ball before half and walking away with no points, and then muffing that punt in their own territory, leading to the go-ahead Kansas TD. The Big 12 is now wide open…
Beamer and his Balls pull out at the last second to avoid a home invasion from the Tigers
USC 34
MIZZ 30
What a game! Are you starting to believe the LaNorris Sellers hype now? The young freshman Beamer BALLED out, throwing for 350 yards, 5 (FIVE) touchdowns and added another 55 on the ground. I think we all knew Missouri was about as legit as skim milk, but I did not expect them to let an 18 year old undress their defense as if it were a sorority girl on spring formal. LaNorris was HOOPIN (so I’m told) – truth be told I did not watch a second of this game. I was hanging out with 93,000 of my closest friends in Athens.
Looking at the Play-By-Play and box score though, I was able to gather the following thoughts: USC came out HOT, and jumped out to a 21-6 lead at halftime thanks to 3 Sellers passing TDs, the final one coming with less than a minute left in the half. Mizzou adjusted, and came out in the 3rd quarter and ran behind the pads of RB Nate Noel, who finished with 150 yards (91 in the 2H) & a score. The Tigers continued to punch back, as star WR Luther Burden finally joined the scoring party with a 37 TD grab, giving them the 30-27 lead with just 1:10 left to play. This all led to a heroic game winning TD drive for Sellers, as he connected on a 39 yard strike to get into Mizzou territory, and then the eventual 15 yard game winner to running back Raheim ‘Rocket’ Sanders. What an electric finish to a great game, and the Gamecocks have now won 4 in a row after starting 3-3, with 3 of those wins coming against ranked opponents. It may be too little too late for them to enter playoff talks, but I guarantee there are quite a few SEC teams that are thanking the Big Man upstairs that they don’t have to face this USC squad right now.
CFB Quickie: #1 Oregon survives a scare in Camp Randall behind a 10 point 4th quarter comeback to stay undefeated. #3 Texas leans on the defense to hold off Taylen Green and Arkansas 20-10. #4 Penn State seized their opportunity to destroy a 1 win team, smoke Purdue 49-10. #8 Notre Dame handles UVA to move to 9-1. Ashton Jeanty runs wild, again, as he leads the #13 Boise State Broncos to a 42-21 win over San Jose St. #14 SMU avoids upset vs Boston College with a 38-28 win, remain 1st in the ACC. Arizona State (rank them cowards) upsets #17 Kansas State 24-14 and moves to 8-2, 3rd in the Big 12, and has a date with BYU next weekend for a spot in the conference championship. #18 Colorado smokes Utah 49-24 to move to 8-2 and keep their playoff hopes alive. New Mexico stuns #18 Washington State 38-35 with a 1 yard TD run with 20 seconds left to hand the Cougars their second loss of the season. Speaking of upsets, Stanford clips #19 Louisville 38-35 with a 52 yard game winning field goal to ruin the Cardinals ACC chances. #20 Clemson holds off and wins against Pitt 24-20 but fails to cover (bastards). Finally, we have the #22 LSU Tigers traveling to the Swamp just to get their ass kicked by the Gators 27-16, as Brian Kelly has changed shades from beat red to a vibrant scarlet. P.S. – Shoutout to FLLLLLLLLLorida State, who despite having the week off, still managed to somehow lose to the Bye week.
Here is your meme of the week, enjoy.
Love you guys,
TWD
