Georgia sucks, Mississippi State paid Toledo $1.2M to lose at home, Arizona might not be underrated after all, and UCF v. TCU was the best game of the weekend. A lot happened and before we get into all of it, we have to address the very fat and very stinky elephant in the room – FLLLorida State.
After spending the majority of the offseason bitching and complaining about A. Being left out of the playoff (then preceding to suffer the worst Bowl game loss in history to UGA) and B. Threatening & suing the ACC in attempt to secede (despite no outside conference interest) they start the year losing 3 consecutive games to unranked opponents (fun fact – this is the first time in history a preseason Top 10 team has done that)
“Florida State (0-3) officially clinches under 9.5 wins, the 1st FBS team to clinch under it’s projected win total this season”
– Brett McMurphy“With Houston’s win over Rice, Florida State is the last remaining winless P4 program” – Mike Norvell
Well, that was a hell of a lot of 1pm games. At one point Scott Hanson gave us a Decabox -10 games simultaneously playing at once – and it was beautiful. Let’s get into it.
Vikings 23 49ers 17: As I so intelligently predicted, it is Sam Darnold MVP season. Finishing 17/26 for 300 total yards and 2 TDs, he was slinging that shit around. Connecting with Justin Jefferson on a 97 yard post set them up nicely, and the defense getting pressure to Brock Purdy forced 2 deflection interceptions. Jefferson left mid 3rd Q with what looked like a leg injury, and my boy Sam didn’t even blink. Missing his #1,#2 & #3 options, he marched the boys down the field and iced the game with a late touchdown. Go ahead and book him as the NFL’s 2024-2025 Most Valuable Player. This game was definitely one of the big surprises of the early slate, and the Vikings are 2-0.
Commanders 21 Giants 18: One of these teams scored 3 touchdowns, and the other kicked 7 field goals. If you aren’t good at math, the Giants are the losers here. After the Giants kicker got hurt, Brian Daboll and the boys decided they would just go for two every time they scored. Well, the better solution would have may been to sign a free agent kicker, like Jack Podlesney (aka the Hungarian Hammer), and maybe they would have won the game. The rookies showed out – Jayden Daniels showed maturity and poise on the final drive, setting up the game winning FG, and on the NY side, Malik Nabers had a coming out party. Nabers saw a 64% (!!) target share and finished with 10-127-1TD.
Saints 44 Cowboys 19: The Saints offense has had 16 offensive drives this season, they have scored on 14 of them. Is Derek Carr…. good?? Two weeks in a row (we call that a streak) he has been HOT. Despite him impressing, completing 70% of his passes for 270 yards and 2 TDs, he wasn’t the Saints star of the show. That belongs to Mr. Alvin Kamara, who finished with 4 touchdowns. He went nuts – 22 touches for 180 yards, including an awesome 65 yard screen he took to the house. This was an absolute whomping. The Saints got up early and never let up, and Dak Pickscott did his thing, throwing 2 INTs. CD Lamb had a really cool 70 yard TD of his own, but only recorded 4 total catches. Nawlens moves to 2-0.
Raiders 26 Ravens 23: Brock Bowers has arrived. The young rookie out of Georgia had himself a day, hauling in 9 catches for 98 yards and being about 2 feet away from his first career touchdown. Through 2 weeks, the rookie leader in yards and receptions is not Marvin Harrison Jr, Malik Nabers, or any of the other flashy first round receivers, it’s TE Brock Bowers. Enough about him though, as this game was really blown by the Ravens. You’d think having a run game of Lamar Jackson and Derrick Henry would be just what the Dr. ordered when you have a late 4Q lead and want to kill clock, right? Well, OC Todd Monken tends to disagree, apparently. The Ravens offense opted to be slick and try to pass the ball late, when they literally have a running back nicknamed “Tractorcito”. It ended up giving Gardner Minshew and the Raiders plenty of opportunities to fight back, and they did just that with a last second TD pass to Devante Adams. Ravens fall to 0-2.
NFL Quickie: Dr. Anthony & Mr. Richardson showed up in Indy, as he threw 3 INTs in a loss to Malik Willis and this feisty Packers team (Josh Jacobs had 32 carries – wtf?). Geno Smith has a near perfect passer rating and DK Metcalf is a super human as the Seahawks outlast the Patriots in OT. The Browns put Jameis Winston in the game and end up winning (he played 2 snaps but fuck Deshaun Watson), Trevor Lawrence is bad? Big Balls Baker and the Bucs go into Detroit and win the rematch of the NFC Championship. Aaron Rodgers gets his first win as a Jet but it’s because Will Levis lovessss the backward pass. Marvin Harrison Jr. has arrived as the Cardinals BLOWOUT the Rams (RIP Kupp and Nacua fantasy owners). Joey B’s Bengals lose to the Refs, I mean the Chiefs, despite playing pretty decent ball. (RIP Pacheco fantasy owners). Steelers and Broncos played a game. Caleb Williams gets sacked 7 times and CJ Stroud shines in primetime, Houston wins.
#1 Georgia goes to Kroger (field) – forgets how to play football
UGA 13
UK 12
YUCK. I don’t mean to yuck anyone’s yum if disgustingly slow sloppy football is your thing, but that is not my jam. I was expecting a routine UGA SEC game here, where they play with their food for a quarter or two, then remember they have 4x as many 5 stars on the roster and they win by 30-40. Well, that’s not exactly how it went down.
Some numbers for you -Kentucky held the UGA offense to just 65 yards in the 1st half, outgained the Dawgs 284-262 in total, and nearly doubled the amount of first downs (12-23). The time of possession also heavily favored the Wildcats, dominating the 1st half at 20 minutes to UGA’s 10. So why couldn’t the Wildcats hold on? Well, it ultimately came down to the fact that Kentucky just didn’t really trust QB Brock Vandagriff to throw it down field, and also just horribly conservative decision making from HC Mark Stoops. After 3.5 quarters of keeping UGA’s offense at bay, Kentucky decided to lean on that defense and punted at midfield on a 4th and medium with just under 3 minutes left to play. That proved to be the final nail in this weird coffin of a game, as UGA ran the clock all the way down to 15 seconds, and it was too little time for Kentucky to get in FG range. Despite remaining undefeated, the Dawgs have a lot to figure out before heading to Tuscaloosa in 2 weeks.
#6 Missouri grounds the Eagles
UM 27
BC 21
This was a fun one. BC QB Thomas Castellanos gave me flashes of Kyler Murray, with his ability to use his legs and extend plays, but as you live by the risk-taking-play maker, you die by him too. Castellanos threw 2 costly interceptions, and one late in the 4th that sealed the game. On the other side, Mizzou played really well, led by their stars. QB Brady Cook (21-30, 264, 2 TD), RB Nate Noel (22-121) and WR Luther Burden (6-117-1) were the difference makers for the Tigers in this game. Missouri moves to 3-0, and looking ahead, they could very easily roll into Tuscaloosa in Week 8 undefeated.
#16 LSU survives the Columbian Cocks
LSU 36
USC 33
Penalties penalties penalties. Some really dumb and late penalties ended up being the difference in this game.
LaNorris Sellers. I love watching this guy play football. For the first time in his football career, he ditched the sports goggles and opted for prescription contacts. While his numbers don’t jump off the paper, 9/16 113 yards 1 INT, his effectiveness as a runner was the difference maker early on (10-88-2TDs). LaNorris took a shot late in the 3rd Q that resulted in him being ruled out the remainder of the game, exiting with a high ankle sprain. Unfortunately for the Gamecocks, their backup is Robby Ashford. SEC fans might recognize that name, as the former Auburn QB is known for his athletic playmaking ability and more notably, his inability to throw a football.
Once Ashford came in, USC leaned heavily on transfer RB Raheim ‘Rocket’ Sanders. The 6’0 240 pound beast of a man was nearly impossible to bring down, and broke off a 70 yard TD run to give the Gamecocks a lead mid 4th quarter. Just as they looked to be holding off LSU, the Tigers bit back. QB Garrett Nussmeier and the offense struggled early but were sparked by freshman RB Caden Durham. The 5’9 elusive back from OKC had fresh legs and was integral in LSU’s comeback, making the most of his touches (11-99-2TDs). The combination of his impact and some very very stupid costly penalties from USC, resulted in the Gamecocks finding themselves down 3 with seconds to go. Despite some heroics from Ashford getting them within FG range, it wasn’t enough to force OT and the Tigers held on.
#20 Arizona loses the catfight in Manhattan
Hand up, I was wrong about this one. I got caught up in Cat-fever, and the only cure was more Fifita and McMillan! Well, the very successful (up to this point) duo was clicking (11 rec 138 yards) but they couldn’t find the endzone. Fifita struggled in the redzone, throwing an INT in the endzone targeting McMillan right before half. All credit to the K State defense here, as they held Arizona to just 56 yards on the ground, forcing Fifita to beat them in 3rd and long situations all game.
On the offensive side of the ball for Kansas State, QB Avery Johnson was electric, sometimes. He is the quintessential example of “Fuck it, my guy is down there somewhere” whenever he escapes the pocket. He will go on a stretch of plays where he has a bad throw, bad throw that should’ve been intercepted, amazing deep ball on the run across his body right in the bucket, horrible throw into the dirt, scramble for 35 yards weaving and juking defenders. If you haven’t experienced it, I highly recommend tuning in and watching this curly haired bastard do his thing.
Kansas St. is now the stand alone favorite to win the Big 12, with a few challenging games ahead, but nothing they can’t handle. As for Arizona, they will have to be perfect and win the Big 12 for a chance at the big dance.
CFB Quickie: FSU makes history, not the good kind, as Memphis embarrasses and shuts DJ Oogiebadoogie & the Noles offense down. Texas crushes UTSA – Arch Manning saw some action as Ewers gets hurt, throws 3 TDs and adds another 70 yarder on the ground (He might be a problem). Bama smokes Wisconsin as Tyler “Dick Van Dyke” Van Dyke suffers a season ending knee injury, and Milroe scores 4 TDs. Oregon still owns the state as they defeat OSU in the ‘Civil War’ game. Cam Ward throws for 400 yards and 5 scores against Sister Mary’s School of the Deaf and Blind. Texas A&M may have a new QB as sophomore Marcel Reed impresses in win against Florida. Mississippi State loses, no gets WHOMPED by Toledo AT HOME 41-17. Yikes.
Another good weekend of ball fellas. What did we do to deserve this? CFB upsets, Redzone showing 10 games at once (shoutout Decabox), and Diddy was FINALLY arrested for subjecting us to his horrible music for decades (oh and some other stuff idk I didn’t read the article).
Let’s attack this week with the same intensity and focus that Shannon Sharpe displayed on his Instagram live just a few days ago (google it for those not perpetually online like myself).
Love you guys,
TWD
