Remember when I said that I’m not sure if this weekend could possibly live up to the excitement of the previous weekend? Yeah that was a dumb thing to say. Not sure if it tops it, but it sure tried. A lot happened – we had upsets, game winners, college kickers missing 40 yarders, etc. For those keeping count, your boy went 7-2 last weekend (no big deal) and gave out some outright winners. Lesser men would boast and make a big deal out of going 7-2 (again, nbd) but not me. I’m just a man with thoughts and opinions and if those thoughts and opinions are always correct, that’s no big deal.
Chicago 35 Jacksonville 16: Caleb Williams has arrived. I realize it was against the Jags, and they REALLY suck, but aside from one bad throw, Caleb looked perfect. He navigated the pocket well, make the right reads, and was accurate. If he’s doing that then the offense and its playmakers will start rolling. The Bears move to 4-2 and that’s something I didn’t think I’d say this year. For the Jags – you gotta fire Doug Peterson. He and his offensive play calling have effectively ruined both Trevor Lawrence and Travis Etienne’s year so far. They look so lost out there and it sucks because they should be a fun team. I think you fire Doug and let the guy you pay $50 million a year do his thing.
Ravens 30 Commanders 23: Everyone is probably waiting on me to talk about Jayden Daniels and Lamar Jackson, but first let me just say this – I love Derrick Henry. Take a step back and appreciate what this man has done, is doing, and will continue to do for the game. 30 years old and leading the NFL in rushing and carries. The man is timeless, aging like fine wine. He went full Tractorcito – 24 carries for 132 yards and 2 TDs. When you can do that, AND you have Lamar Jackson back there throwing for 325 yards, this offense is nearly impossible to stop. The Commanders did their best though and were coming in hot, 4-1, with rookie sensation Jayden Daniels spreading his seed all across the league thus far. To his credit, he played pretty damn well against one of the best defensive units in the league – 24/35, 295 total yards and 2 TDs. The commies were missing RB Brian Robinson and his physical running style that usually grants Jayden more opportunities to throw, due to the strong run game. For what felt like a pretty back and forth game, the Ravens ended up controlling it the whole way. With King Henry running wild, Lamar was able to pick apart the unimpressive Washington secondary and his connection with Zay Flowers ended up being the difference. A really fun one to watch.
NFL Quickie: The other games all kinda sucked so lets run through em real quick. Jordan Love and the Packers prove that the NFC North is the best division in football as they blowout the Cardinals 34-13. Will Levis remains the most memeable NFL player maybe ever as he scrambles for 2 yards, falls into a ball boy, hurts him so badly he has to get carted off, then gets up and flexes. Way to go Will! Oh yeah and Joe Flacco is still bacco, Colts win 20-17. Texans ruin Maye Day in New England as CJ Stroud and company hang 41 on the rookie in his debut (Pretty solid numbers from Drake though, 250 & 3 TDs). Speaking of points, the Bucs went to NOLA and put a 50 burger on the Saints as Baker recorded about every statistic a QB can in his successful effort to ruin the rookie debut for Spencer Rattler. Massage Watson’s stinky cheese touch continues as the Browns lose to the Eagles 20-16 in Philly. We need to have a conversation about Nick Sirianni being the biggest cornball in the league, buddy was taunting his own fans after the game. My Chargers were absolutely #ChargingUp this weekend as Herbert finally throws for 200 yards, JK Dobbins runs for 100, and Harbaugh loved it so much his heart actually skipped a beat. LA hands Bo Nix and his bucking Broncos their 3rd loss after a 23-16 showing. Is Justin Fields the best QB in the NFL?? No, no he is not. However, he played pretty well on Sunday – 200 total yards a 2 rushing TDs – Idk how Tomlin does it, but every year he has a bad offense winning games behind the strength of a fantastic defense. Pittsburgh beats the RRRRRRRRRaiderrs 32-13. Are the Cowboys dead? Can someone call Jerry Jones and remind him he paid Dak Prescott $240 million? The Lions didn’t just beat the Cowboys, the sodomized them on primetime television. They had linemen running routes and catching passes like this was backyard football. Detroit beats Dallas 47-9 (Scorigami for my nerds) but suffer a heartbreaking loss as Aidan Hutchinson snaps his leg in half. The Falcons have officially entered ‘Fun-Frisky’ territory, as they FINALLY unleash Bijan (140 yards 2 TDs) and whomp the Panthers 38-20. Hide your Kohls cash and Rhoback polos, because we’re balls deep in Kirktober.
Texas drowns Oklahoma in the Red River Rivalry
UT 34
OU 3
Yikes. I wish I could say I enjoyed watching this game, or even had a little bit of fun, but that’s just not true. Both teams started a bit slow, and Oklahoma even jumped out to a 3-0 lead as the 1Q ended, but then Texas woke up. The defense was all over the Freshman QB Michael Hawkins Jr., and bottled him up, effectively eliminating his rushing ability. Texas forced him to throw and while he did not throw an INT, he did only throw for 120 yards. Oklahoma just could not do anything offensively, which isn’t really a shock to me considering they are missing 5 starting WR’s and have a 18 year old starting his second game ever in a massive rivalry game.
Damn! Texas must’ve looked awesome!! Well, not exactly. Quinn played decent, making throws when and where he needed to, but didn’t put up video game numbers by any means (20/29 199 yards 2TDs and 1 INT). It was the rushing attack, led by sophomore Quintrevion Wisner (13-118-TD) that really gave life to the Longhorns.
Verdict – I don’t think anyone believed Oklahoma really had a fighters chance in this game, they have an uphill battle ahead with a few big games left. If the offense can get some weapons back to help Hawkins, that’d be huge. For Texas, they have the #4 Georgia Bulldogs coming to town next, should be an absolute classic.
The Ducks hold on to win as the Buckeyes slip and slide the game away
UO 32
OSU 31
What a gameeee mannnnnn. Everyone is flaming OSU QB Will Howard for his seemingly boneheaded move as he scrambled and slid as the clock hit double zero. Now, I have an obligation as a Big J Journalist to not make fun of the young man here and take his side, and operate under the assumption that he was just trying to give his kicker a closer FG attempt by scrambling. With that being said, the idea would’ve been better executed had he not displayed the awareness skills of Helen Keller.
On a serious note – Oregon looked awesome. The Dillon Gabriel heisman campaign is officially back on, as the not-so-young man threw for 340 and 2 TDs, including two incredibly accurate deep balls that ended up as TDs. Evan Stewart and Tez Johnson were terrorizing the Ohio State secondary all night, combining for 14 catches, 225 yards and 2 scores. The Ducks had the entire offense rolling, as RB Jordan James added another 115 on the ground. Ohio State was able to go blow for blow with the Ducks, behind 330 yards and 3 TDs from QB Will Howard. Give him all the shit you want for the sliding fiasco that ended the game, but they wouldn’t have even been IN that game if it weren’t for him – he was hooping. Freshman phenom Jeremiah Smith did not disappoint – 9 rec 100 yards & a score. Oregon pretty much bottled up the OSU run game, aside from one 53 yard run, the Buckeyes were held to just 80 yards on 32 attempts.
Verdict – I love College Football so much. This game made me happy, it really felt like a coin flip game the entire time. While it does put the Ducks in the driver seat for the Big Ten, the Buckeyes aren’t far behind. They do have to go to #3 Penn State in a few weeks, and also face off against the buzzsaw that is the undefeated Indiana Hoosiers in late November. The SUV that is the Big Ten, has Oregon in the driver seat, Indiana in the passenger seat, and Ohio St. riding bitch seat complaining about the lack of leg room. Oh and don’t forget about Penn State stuffed in the trunk yelling ‘Hey! We’re actually undefeated too guys!!” P.S. Ryan Day is now 1-7 against Top 5 opponents.
Penn State survives the Trojan scare, they ARE the father
PSU 33
USC 30
Have you or a loved one been affected by the College Kicker phenomena? You may be entitled to some angry tweets directed at 18-21 year olds or unsolicited message board slander. Call 1-800-WHINE if you have been personally affected.
Ahhh an overtime thriller. I tried to tell you Deucers that USC would compete in this game and even have a chance to win it. Truth be told they should’ve. The curse of college kickers strikes again, as USC’s Kicker Michael Lantz missed a go ahead FG on the first possession of overtime, giving the Nittany Lions the ball and a chance to win. Back in regulation, it was the Trojans that led for the majority of the game, as they held a 20-6 halftime lead and were all over Penn State QB Drew Allar. Lucky for Penn State, they have Tyler Warren. “Tyler Warren? Who’s that?” Oh he’s just a 6’6 250 pound behemoth of a man who set the single game reception record on Saturday. To be specific, Mr. Warren had 17 catches for 224 yards and TD where he lined up on the offensive line as the center and actually snapped the ball. He reinvigorated the Nittany Lions and carried them back into this game. QB Drew Allar had his moments, both good and bad, throwing 3 interceptions but also accounting for 415 yards and 3 TDs. A crazy game that someone had to end up winning. We’ve already talked about how this’ll effect Penn State moving forward (they’re in the trunk) but for USC, they move to 3-3 (1-3 in Big Ten). If we’re talking about the Big Ten SUV analogy, then USC is one of the bugs that gets smoked by your windshield as you ride down the interstate at 80 miles an hour, they’re dead.
Rebels go to Death Valley, run into a Tiger and die
LSU 29
MISS 26
Another BANGER. No big deal, but I told you guys LSU would win this game. Again, no big deal, I’m just never wrong.
Garrett Nussmeier is a stud. The dude is a gunslinger and he’s so fun to watch. He may have played REALLY shitty for 58 minutes of this game, but in the last 2 minutes, he threw the game tying touchdown on 4th down as regulation expired, and then a 25 yard game winner on the Tigers first play of overtime. What’s that old expression? “It’s not how slow you start but fast you finish?” Think that was Gandhi. Anyway, that’s kinda how this game felt for LSU. They hung around as Ole Miss slowly let them back into this game, Jaxson Dart (still spells his name with an ‘x’ by the way) and the Rebel offense looked about as lively as current day Pete Rose. After a 54 yard TD run late in the 2Q, Ole Miss was held to nothing but field goals for the rest of the game. LSU’s defense felt the energy of that home crowd and used that juice to rattle Dart, pressuring him and sacking him 6 times, the most in his career.
Verdict – LSU is in control of their own destiny now. 2-0 in conference play, and a nasty looking schedule ahead. I still trust Brian Kelly about as much as I would trust Bill Cosby with my drink, but I gotta give him props for this comeback. For Ole Miss, they aren’t quite dead, but the pulse is fading quickly. They still have a few tough games left, and will have to be perfect if they want a chance at a postseason.
CFB Quickie: Georgia refuses to cover a spread and lets Miss State hang around for a while, wins 41-31. The blueprint to beating Alabama may be public knowledge as USC almost gives us (America) another unbelievable upset, they fall short though as Bama holds on 27-25. Speaking of SEC teams who SHOULD’VE LOST, Tennessee escapes a late game comeback from the Gators as they outlast them in overtime 23-17, behind Dylan Sampsons heroic performance. Clemson smokes Wake Forest 49-14, move to 5-1 and first in the ACC. Iowa State beats West Virginia 28-16 and moves to 6-0 for the first time since 1938(!), respect the Cyclones!! BYU also remains undefeated and atop the Big 12 as they spank Arizona 41-19. Ashton Jeanty runs for another 220 yards in a win at Hawai’i 28-7. Kansas State survives a late comeback from Colorado and holds on 31-28. Just as I predicted, Georgia Tech wins and covers the spread (41-34) with a last second 65 yard touchdown run vs North Carolina. Illinois is officially ‘Risky-Frisky’ as the Illini edge out the Boilermakers 50-49 (OT) in one of the best games nobody watched. Iowa scores 40 points in a game by some miracle and beats Washington. Lastly, shoutout our Sun Belt friends, as Georgia Southern comes back down 17, beats Marshall 24-23 and is now the leader in the clubhouse at 2-0 in conference play.
It seems we may be approaching a Subway Series matchup in the World Series, which would suck ass. Let’s catch up on the ‘yoffs.
American League – Championship Series
New Jork Jankees v. Cleveland Guardians (1-0)
National League – Championship Series
Los Angeles Dodgers v. New Jork Mets (1-1)
I’d wager to say about 97% of the country is cheering for the Guardians to upset the Jankees. I’ve got no dog in the fight, so I’ve decided to cheer against everyone not named the Cleveland Guardians. Lucky for me, Aaron Judge has been absolute buns in the playoffs thus far, but unlucky for me the Yankees have a $310 million dollar payroll so some of their other insanely good players stepped up and got the win last night. Rizzo is back despite fracturing multiple fingers just two weeks ago, and he already has more hits than Judge (not true). Luke Weaver is an absolute dog, as he slammed the door on the Guardians late inning push to seal the Game 1 win.
In the Mets Dodgers series, we got a Flaherty masterclass in Game 1 and a Senga stinker, resulting in a 9-0 LA win. Game 2 was last night, and the Mets came out swinging. Lindor led it off with a first inning HR, and the hitting continued in a 5 run 2nd inning. Sean Manaea threw 4 scoreless innings and it was enough to hold off the Dodgers bats. Ohtani’s postseason struggles continue, as he is now 0-19 with empty bases this post season. Edwin Diaz continues to DEAL as he was on fire, finishing with 3 strikeouts in 1.1 IP. It looks like we have ourselves a series, as we head to New York for a few games.
Here is your meme of the week gang
Love you guys,
TWD
