College Football Week 9, NFL Week 8, MLB Yoffs and even some NBA (maybe)
We are in a most glorious time, as the ever elusive ‘Sports Equinox’ is upon us. Just last night, we had NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL. Four of the big dawgs of major sports all in the same 4 hour window. Like I said, glorious, so soak it in and drag every TV in your house into the same room so you can properly strain those eyeballs, like a true sicko.
Eagles 37 Bengals 17: For the first time since 2000, the Eagles have beaten the Bengals. Jalen Hurts spams the tush push and scores 3 TDs, Saquon ran for 110 yards, AJ Brown and DeVonta Smith combined for 12 catches & 170 yards. Joey B didn’t play terribly, but the defense is absolutely horrific.
Browns 29 Ravens 24: Jameis Winston, never change, please. One week removed from that pervert Deshaun Watson and the Browns organization has completely turned around. Well, not entirely, but you get my point. It was Jameis day and he was absolutely locked in, throwing for 335 & 3 TDs, including the 48 yard go ahead bomb to Cedric Tillman with just 50 seconds left to play. King Henry was somehow only fed 11 times, and Lamar played well, it just wasn’t enough. The Browns go from being ‘super-ass’ to now being ‘frisky ass’ with Jameis at the helm and Nick Chubb back.
Lions 52 Titans 14: Yikes, not a lot to unpack here to be honest. Will Levis is out so that means it’s Mason Rudolph time, and he stunk. In a game where the Lions score 52, you’d probably expect to see Goff, Gibbs, Monty & Amon-Ra filling up the stat sheet, right? Wrong, dumbass. Goff finished with only 85 yards, Monty with 33, Amon-Ra with 7 (lol) and Gibbs actually had a great game (127 yards) with a 70 yard TD run. “So how the hell did they score 52 points??” Well, to be brief, the Titans turned the ball over 5 times and gave the Lions a short field every possession. Mix that with some of the best special teams play I’ve ever seen (72 yard kick return & 90 yard punt return TD). The Lions are a wagon and that offense looks like the best in the NFL.
Falcons 31 Bucs 26: Turns out it is still Kirktober. Mr. Cousins was in peak Kirko form – throwing for 275 yards and 4 TDs. All was right in Mr. Robinsons neighborhood as well, accumulating 100+ yards and a TD. Even Kyle Pitts had his delayed coming out party, scoring two long TDs and nearly clipping 100 yards (91). Baker did his best to cook without his sous chefs (Evans & Godwin OUT) but threw some boneheaded interceptions that ended up being the difference. The Falcons are kings of the NFC South and move to 5-3.
NFL Quickie: How do we feel about Anthony Richardson? Does he suck, I mean he was 2/15 passing at halftime, is that good? Is he just inexperienced? Consult your local Colts fan and see how they feel. CJ Stroud and company hold off the Colts 23-20. Jordan Love injures his groin, gets masseuse recs from Deshaun Watson while backup Malik Willis & Josh Jacobs (127 yards 2 TDs) hold off T-Law and the Jags to win 30-27. Tua’s return from mental deficiency is spoiled by Kyler’s career day. Trey McBride & Maserati Marv combined for 15 recs, 235 yards & a score as the Cards win 28-27. Drake Maye gets absolutely smoked, resulting in a concussion, so Jacoby Brisket comes in and leads a game winning drive to send the Jets to 2-6. FUN FACT: Teams are 750-1 when scoring 20+ pts, being turnover free & allowing less than 250 total yards. The only loss? This Jets loss against the Pats. Josh Allen and James Cookin with Gas run all over Seattle as they expose them as pretenders. Bills whack the Seahawks 31-10. Bo Nix plays the closest thing to a PAC 12 defense as he throws for 290 & 3 TDs in the 28-13 rout of the Panthers. The former #1 & #2 overall draft picks faced off as the redzone woes of the Commies kept the Bears in this game late, but some unbelievably poor play calling by the Bears basically cost them this game as the ‘Manders win 18-15. Don’t get it twisted, Jayden Daniels hail mary was absolutely electric, but Tyrique Stevenson, go ahead and find yourself a Chucky Cheese application buddy. What the hell were you thinking?? Taunting the crowd in the MIDDLE of a potential game winning play, wild (see illustration below). A passing of the torch occurred in Las Vegas as washed old man turned TV/Podcast star, Travis Kelce, was seen admiring the new and improved version of himself in Brock Bowers. KC held on to win this game & remains undefeated (7-0) with a 27-20 win, despite the late comeback efforts of Gardner Minshew. Lastly, we go to San Fran, where the Cowboys of Dallas remain really great at getting their ass kicked for 3.5 quarters and then back door covering the spread behind a herculean effort by Dakota Prescott against prevent defense. CD Lamb is still really damn good at football, but the dynamic duo of old bastards, Dalvin Cook and Zeke Elliott, wasn’t enough to overcome the 49ers. Boys lose 30-24.
Late Week Love
Pittsburgh 41 Syracuse 13: It’s time to start respecting the Pitt Panthers. Patt Narduzzi has these young men playing a blue collar brand of football, and they’re now 7-0 and in full control of the ACC. That blue collar mentality is very evident in the way the Panthers play defense, as they fly around and have an uncanny ability to force turnovers. To be more specific, they forced Syracuse QB Kyle McCord into throwing 5 interceptions, including not 1, not 2, but THREE pick 6’s. Pretty hard to win a ball game when that’s the case. Pitt has a date with #20 SMU coming up next weekend, and if they pass that test they’ll be coasting until hosting Clemson a few weeks later. Things are heating up folks!
Boise State 29 UNLV 24: Your Heisman frontrunner Ashton Jeanty had his worst game of the year, running for a measly 130 yards and only 1 TD. I guess we should go ahead and pack it up and say our goodbyes to his chances, right? WRONG. He and his bucking Broncos move to 6-1, with the only loss of the season coming at the hands of the #1 team in the land, the Oregon Ducks (3 point loss btw). I love this team and if you haven’t watched Jeanty run the football, do yourself a favor and tune in.
Saturday Shenanigans
Oregon brings a gun to a fist Fight, dismantles Illinois 38-9: Well Oregon certainly looked like the #1 team in the country on Saturday, as they blew the doors off Illinois early and often, holding a 35-3 lead at halftime. Dillon Gabriel was going through the motions, capping his day at 300 yards and 4 TDs, with the majority of that coming in the first half. For the Illini, this pretty much eliminates them from the playoff picture. With no more opportunities on the rest of the schedule to gain some traction, they have to pray for mayhem. The Ducks on the other hand, are rolling. They also have the worst of their schedule behind them, as no ranked matchups are left on the board. They are IN THE DRIVER SEAT ladies and gentlemen.
Texas avoids disaster in Nashville, narrowly wins 27-24: Mannnnn we almost had ourselves another absolute classic. Was it too much to ask for Vandy to upset the #1 team in the nation TWICE in one season? Yes, yes it was. However, they tried their damnedest. A pretty sloppy game here – Ewers and Pavia each had 2 interceptions and Vandy RB Sedrick Alexander coughed up the rock as well. Ewers got the turnovers started early, but shook it off and ripped off 280 yards & 3 TDs before his next eventual interception. A big bounce back spot for the Longhorns and like my Great Aunt Peggy used to say “A win is a win, bitch”, so give credit where credit is due. The Commodores tried to rally from a 24-10 deficit late, and were able to make it interesting, but ran out of magic. Texas has a few more tough SEC road games on the schedule, including a date with top 10 team Texas A&M to end the season. That’s sure to butter my popcorn folks.
The 12th man stands up late and cages the Tigers: Hand up, didn’t watch a second of this game. I was unfortunately pre-occupied, interviewing strangers on the street as local news anchor Chester Cleavage, Channel 47’s one and only voice of reason. I’ve seen the highlights and I’ve read some lackluster articles covering the game so I think I’m more than qualified to give you guys the goods here.
LSU QB Garrett Nussmeier (my NFL Draft QB sleeper) had a tale of two halves – He was hooping in the 1st half, throwing for 180 and 2 TDs, giving the Tigers a 17-7 lead at the break. The second half was headlined by 3 poor interceptions. Sometimes you see a tipped ball, or a WR drop that turns into a QB INT, where it has you wishing that could be a WR stat. Well, these interceptions were completely on Nuss Bus. He threw across his body and back against the field, a big no-no, multiple times. Speaking of QB’s, Texas A&M made a change in the second half, starting backup Marcel Reed, and talk about a SPARK. The young man was near perfect, going 2/2 with 70 yards and adding another 65 & 3 TDs on the ground. I cannot believe I trusted Brian Kelly to win a big game, never again. I’m usually so in touch and aware of his inability to show up in these games and for some reason I let the stink of Jimbo Fisher distract me from the obvious. The Tigers aren’t dead, they still have an opportunity to make a playoff push if they can beat Bama in two weeks, as that’ll act as a loser leaves town game. For the Aggies, they are currently atop the SEC standings and control their own destiny. They have a date with Texas to wrap up the regular season, but might be able to make the Yoffs anyway if they maintain the course up to that point. P.S. – Look out for their game @ Auburn on 11/23, has trap game written ALL OVER IT. Calling it now, they will not cover the spread and may even lose that game. Jordan-Hare is spooky.
CFB Quickie: #6 Miami gives FLLLLLLLorida State their 7th L of the season & eliminates them from bowl contention with a 36-14 plastering. #15 Alabama pulls Missouri’s pants down and spanks them silly, 34-0, please remove Missouri from the rankings ASAP. Despite a slow start, #18 Ole Miss rallies in the 2H to hold off a very bad Oklahoma team, 26-14. #3 Penn State proves they aren’t completely fraudulent (yet) and avoids the upset in Madison, as a 14 point 4th quarter elevates them to a 28-13 win. Nebraska nearly makes 99% of America happy but falls short in the upset attempt at #2 Ohio State – credit to Will Howard for leading the game winning drive. #11 BYU remains undefeated as the easiest bet of last weekend cashes. Remember when UCF was the favorite in this game? The Mormons move to 8-0 with a 37-24 victory. #12 Notre Dame SMOKES the Naval Academy (bless our troops) 51-14 by forcing 5 turnovers and finally feeding Jeremiyah Love the rock. Let.the.man.run.WILD. #13 Indiana continues to be an absolute wagon, as the undefeated Hoosiers take care of Washington 31-17. RESPECT THE C1G10. #22 SMU moves to 7-1 (not too shabby, eh?) as they block a would be game winning FG to hold on and beat Duke 28-27.
Yikes, my Yankees in 7 pick might be in a little bit of trouble as they suck ass.
New Jork Jankees 0
Los Angeles Dodgers 3
Fredward Freeman has been in peak form as of late, smacking a homerun in each of these 3 World Series games so far. He is you current World Series MVP favorite after 3 games, until Mike Stanton inevitably averages 2 HR’s a game for the next 4 games and snatches it back.
After an ELECTRIC Game 1, headlined by a 10th inning Freddie Freeman Grand Salami walk off *which was the first extra inning walk off grand slam in World Series history* we saw a pretty boring Game 2 & 3. Game 2 we saw Yamamoto shut down the Yankees (6.1 IP, 5K, 1H, 2BB) and received a standing O walking off the mound. A Tommy Edman HR in the 2nd was followed an inning later by back-to-back Hernandez & Fred Freeman blasts, giving the Dodgers a big lead for the Yankees to play catch up. They did not, and fell back 0-2. Game 3 was more of the same, as Walker Buehler pitched 5 scoreless innings and Fredward smoked another HR in his first at bat of the game. Ohtani has been battling a lingering shoulder injury, but lucky for the Dodgers they have a team full of All-Stars so other guys like Mookie Betts, Teoscar Hernandez & Tommy Edman stepped up in his struggle. The Dodgers starting pitchers now have 5 shutout appearances this playoffs, the most in a single postseason since the 2016 Indians. The Yankees tried making a 9th inning comeback with a Verdugo 2 run HR, but it was too little too late. Some numbers for you – Aaron Judge is currently batting .083, with just a single hit in 12 at bats. YIKES. 7 strikeouts to go with that, and that is a BAD showing for the HR leader and regular season merchant. He isn’t entirely to blame, as baseball is a team sport, but being the leader and AL MVP, you expect more of him. Can he figure it out facing elimination? Will Freddie Freeman continue to spank homeruns? Idk, but the Yankees are in desperation mode as the gun is fully loaded and placed firmly against the roof of their mouth.
We’re approaching November, can you believe it? I sure can’t, but I guess it’s true what they say about time flying, “Time Flies”. Anyway here’s a fun fact for you guys.
– Finland has ranked as the happiest country in the world for 7 years straight.
– True that. I suppose that old Chinese proverb reigns true, “如果你完成了你會很高興” which loosely translate to “If you Finish, you will be happy”. Obviously that’s up for interpretation, but I like to live by that good word. I’ve started to share that ideology with my current girlfriend in the hopes of fixing our very broken and toxic relationship, but so far, no dice. Anyway, no meme this week.
Love you guys,
TWD
